The void left by Ebert's health difficulties (may he recover fully) must be filled, and this is our humble attempt to fill it. Hidden amidst a tangle of film-related bloviating and nonsense, we will review some movies. The question we will answer is primitive, but cuts to the quick: would we rather have spent the time watching the movie or with a hot chick?
Monday, January 08, 2007
A disgrace, all of you.
Congratulations, idiots. You have generously provided Night at the Museum with over $160 million domestic box office in three weekends. Perhaps we should change this blog to: Movie or Thyroid Cancer? I'm with Ebert on this one.
I say we should bite the bullet and watch the possibly awful movie before casting aspersions on so many jillions of filmgoers spending their hard-earned money. It's what Ebert (may he recover fully) would do.
After all, maybe it's one of those light-hearted flicks with no artistic value, but a pleasant way to spend a couple hours. You know, like a friendly acquaintance chick you talk to at one party and never see again.
Chris Aronson, senior vice president for distribution at 20th Century Fox, sez, "It plays from 8 to 80, and it plays from Maine to Maui. It's one of those across-the-board hits that pleases everybody who sees it." That's right, Tiberius - everybody. And aren't you just one more partly open, partly closed cell of the acellular slime mold that is everybody?
Barely relevantly, I'll quote David St. Hubbins's wise words about slime molds in the DVD release of "This is Spinal Tap": "They are both plant AND animal...it's like they can't make up their mind...but if they ever did, they can take us over just like that!"
2 comments:
I say we should bite the bullet and watch the possibly awful movie before casting aspersions on so many jillions of filmgoers spending their hard-earned money. It's what Ebert (may he recover fully) would do.
After all, maybe it's one of those light-hearted flicks with no artistic value, but a pleasant way to spend a couple hours. You know, like a friendly acquaintance chick you talk to at one party and never see again.
Chris Aronson, senior vice president for distribution at 20th Century Fox, sez, "It plays from 8 to 80, and it plays from Maine to Maui. It's one of those across-the-board hits that pleases everybody who sees it." That's right, Tiberius - everybody. And aren't you just one more partly open, partly closed cell of the acellular slime mold that is everybody?
Barely relevantly, I'll quote David St. Hubbins's wise words about slime molds in the DVD release of "This is Spinal Tap": "They are both plant AND animal...it's like they can't make up their mind...but if they ever did, they can take us over just like that!"
I can't believe you have more faith in a Fox executive's sound bite than in my visceral disgust.
Post a Comment