What we have here is failure to communicate.

Dave, your movie reviewing philosophy, if I may put it bluntly, is for the birds. The film critics circles/associations of every major city would cast you from their exalted ranks, and without fanfare. Your refusal to justify your reactions, to produce an account of the artistry, to point the finger of blame, the finger of honor, or the finger of mild indifference is nothing short of Marxism.

Nevertheless, if you are going to insist on writing reviews that amount to an emoticon subtitle (and I'm certain that you are), I have a suggestion. Offer your loyal readership a primer on your tastes, as a training set. To lead by example, I have added a link to a list of movies that are, in my supreme estimation, great. You might consider also compiling a list of movies that you are quite certain suck. You might attempt to appear more clever and literate by titling this list something like, movies that "Cause you to roll your eyes and gnash your teeth such that the sisters hurriedly tighten the restraints and invoke the Father". Or, to annoy me as much as possible, you might even write some queer sort of interactive movie-emoticon matrix in Flash. Oh, what a hateful idea that is, you Commie bastard.